Janet and John Get Married

A fair few years passed, together with many loin-girding beers in the pub, before John plucked up enough Dutch courage to ask Janet again to marry him, given that last time hadn't quite gone according to plan. Janet had been a bit grumpy when he got back from the pub, it has to be said. Still, even when she was grumpy she looked pretty, especially in that apron and cooking those meals and washing those floors. It was worth having lost the sleeves on all his best suits.

She really is my perfect wife, thought John wistfully, one fine day in July. There she was, hanging out his clean shirts on the line, the waft of Ariel and Lenor tickling his nostrils in the soft breeze: perhaps the chemicals went to his head, but he suddenly decided that This Was The Moment to try again....

Janet, he said, Will you marry me?
You what?? she screeched. I've waited all these years for you to ask me again, you stupid pillock, and now you do it when I'm hanging out washing?!?!
But you look so pretty in your apron! he exclaimed, desperately hoping to avoid having the sleeves cut off his best shirts too.
Do I...? Janet offered, a little less harshly.
Oh indeed you do, said John, sounding like something out of an old-fashioned story book. In fact he suddenly got quite carried away, continuing And I go wild with the smell of Ariel when we make love bewteen those clean sheets. 
With such praise for her laundry prowess, Janet turned to putty in his hands. It was a bit messy, but at least she knew how to clean it off afterwards. The putty that is.

And so it was that a second proposal took place and that The Wedding finally went ahead. They invited the sheets and shirts and clothes pegs and the Washing Machine agreed to be Best Man. He churned out the cleanest Best Man Speech anyone had ever heard and they all lived happily ever after.

Or did they....?